Buy your wife some sexy lingerie they said. It will be romantic they said. But they didn’t take into account having to walk into Ann Summers on a Saturday afternoon looking blankly at lace bras and crotchless knickers. You know her favourite colour but what the fuck is her bra size? Nope, spare yourself (and your wife) the embarrassment and opt for this candle instead.
Suitable for vegans, but we wouldn’t recommend eating them.